Mum’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Time (& Looking Fab Doing It)
Let’s be honest – between school runs, meal prep, and endless washing cycles, finding time for yourself as a mum can feel impossible. You’re constantly giving pieces of yourself to everyone else, and by the end of the day, you’re lucky if you’ve managed to brush your teeth properly, let alone think about your own needs.
But here’s the thing: making time for yourself isn’t selfish – it’s essential. You deserve to feel fabulous, to have experiences that aren’t centred around keeping tiny humans alive, and to remember who you are beyond being “mum.” The good news? Creating these moments for yourself is more achievable than you think.
Start With Your Wardrobe (Trust Me on This One)
Before we dive into day trips and spa treatments, let’s talk about something that might seem superficial but is actually revolutionary – investing in clothes that make you feel amazing.
When you’ve been living in joggers and oversized jumpers for months, the idea of getting dressed up can feel foreign. But having pieces in your wardrobe that make you excited to get ready changes everything. It’s the difference between reluctantly agreeing to go out and actively looking forward to it.
Start with the basics that instantly elevate any outfit. A pair of black heels – whether they’re block heels for comfort or stilettos if that’s your vibe – can transform the simplest jeans-and-top combo. Black heels are particularly magical because they work with literally everything and make you feel put-together instantly.
Add a well-fitted blazer, a dress that hugs you in all the right places, and some statement jewellery. These aren’t just clothes – they’re confidence boosters. When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you’re more likely to say yes to that coffee date or girls’ night out.
Planning Your Perfect Girls’ Day Out
Once you’ve sorted your wardrobe situation, it’s time to plan some proper fun. Girls’ days out don’t have to be expensive or elaborate – they just need to feed your soul.
Spa Days at Home or Away
Nothing beats a proper pamper session. If a full spa day isn’t in the budget, create one at home. Face masks, bath bombs, and your favourite playlist can work wonders. Or club together with friends and book a spa day – splitting the cost makes it more affordable, and you’ll have built-in company.
Shopping Adventures
Whether it’s browsing vintage shops, hitting the high street, or exploring local markets, shopping with friends is therapy. Set a small budget if money’s tight – sometimes finding a gorgeous charity shop bargain gives you more satisfaction than splashing out anyway.
Cultural Experiences
Museums, art galleries, theatre matinees – these often have off-peak prices and can feel wonderfully grown-up after endless episodes of CBeebies. Many venues offer student or local discounts, so it’s worth asking.
Couples’ Time That Actually Happens
Date nights often fall by the wayside when you’re exhausted, but maintaining your relationship outside of parenting duties is crucial. The key is making it as easy as possible to actually follow through.
Daytime Dates
Who says dates have to be evening affairs? Lunch dates, afternoon cinema trips, or even a walk around a new area can be just as romantic – and often more achievable when childcare is involved.
Activity-Based Fun
Sometimes sitting across from each other at dinner feels forced when you’re both knackered. Try mini golf, bowling, escape rooms, or even a cooking class. Having an activity takes the pressure off conversation while still giving you quality time together.
Local Adventures
Explore your own area like tourists. Visit that museum you’ve never been to, try that restaurant you always walk past, or take a day trip to a nearby town. Fresh environments can help you reconnect with each other.
Making It Actually Happen
The biggest barrier to taking time for yourself isn’t usually money or logistics – it’s guilt. You might feel selfish for wanting time away from your children, or worry that you don’t deserve it. But taking care of yourself makes you a better mum, partner, and person.
Start small. Book one coffee date with a friend this month. Put on those heels you’ve been saving for a “special occasion” and wear them to the supermarket if you fancy. Buy yourself flowers for no reason other than they make you smile.
Schedule it like you would any other important appointment. Put it in your calendar, arrange childcare if needed, and treat it as non-negotiable. You wouldn’t cancel a doctor’s appointment without good reason – your mental health and happiness deserve the same respect.
Your Time Starts Now
Making time for yourself isn’t about being the perfect mum who has it all sorted – it’s about recognising that you’re a whole person with needs, dreams, and desires beyond motherhood. You existed before your children, and maintaining that sense of self benefits everyone in your family.
Whether it’s investing in that gorgeous dress that’s been sitting in your online basket, booking that spa day you’ve been promising yourself, or simply scheduling regular coffee dates with friends, start somewhere. Your future self will thank you for it.
Remember, you’re not just raising children – you’re showing them what it looks like to value yourself, pursue happiness, and live a full life. That’s a pretty powerful lesson wrapped up in a fabulous pair of heels.
