Best Dining Experience Parlour Kensal Green

Why the potentially outrageous and boastful title about Parlour at Kensal Green? Well, a couple lines into this post and it’ll all make sense. As Alfie and I have been in London so much lately, it would have been stupid of us to waste the opportunity of working with branches down there, so, we were invited along to the Chef’s Table at Parlour. Not that we knew we were going to get this experience, as it’s an experience which isn’t on their website or social channels. It’s an experience that you have to be in the know, to know about, and it’s an experience, that I am about to divulge to you all.

The incredible Chef and owner of Parlour is Jesse Dunford Wood and he is quite the performer. Not only in how the food is presented, but then how he actually presents it to you. The Chef’s Table experience, as I’m not entirely sure it has an actual name with being on the down low? Is an experimental journey through the weird and wonderful creations Jesse and his team have made, whilst taking the journey you can’t help but laugh at all the stories behind the dishes and their names too.

The first dish was a tribute to Ronald McDonald of McDonalds and Colonel Sanders of KFC. The dish combines popcorn with chicken nuggets and actually tastes rather nice. Accompanied by humus gone wrong, which was a drunken mistake. It’s the most delicious paste ever and definitely needs to be sold in stores immediately. As Jesse presents the food it comes with a dramatically told introduction that you can’t help but laugh at, mainly out of confusion and amusement.

I won’t spoil all of the dishes, but I was so excited on the day and in the moment to share this with you all, that I actually took notes of my thoughts as every single dish arrived. Some of which notes aren’t very literate of me, but they do make me laugh and definite reassure me that this was the best dining experience I’ve ever had.

‘Pretty little flowers like in Masterchef’ was an usual dish, it was meant to be like ravioli, but ended up being thin slices of watermelon instead. Next was ‘Salmon on a plank’ served on a massive plank that is placed across the table with ‘Today’s bread’. Not to be confused with ‘Yesterday’s Bread’ which came out afterwards with a Duck Liver pate and another dish of basil, basil, basil and more basil in every form possible, including basil custard.
‘Eggs so posh they could be from Waitrose’ was the dish that made me laugh the most, but Alfie had to finish mine as I’m not a massive fan of the cheese that the egg was filled of. Afterwards it was times for the Fish, bacon and peas dish which was simply divine and so well executed and that was just before the rather impressive finale.

It’s a little hard to believe, but I promise I’m not exaggerating, in fact, I recorded most of the experience as I just couldn’t stop laughing or drooling. After a little wait and Jesse quietly and politely moved everything from the table, we thought our time was up and that we were all done. Quite content with how full we were and the experience we had so far, Jesse returned with a machete which had 3 pairs of flashing headphones on it. After placing the headphones on, music from Charlie and the Chocolate factory started to play whilst Jesse grabbed some tin foil and rolled it down the table before a buffet of sweet treats descended one by one onto the table after Jesse had finished swirling cameral, chocolate and other sauces all over it.

I can’t say I’ve ever heard of such a desert in a restaurant before. Jesse moved from the table to the Kitchen’s bench, picking up the deserts in perfect beat to the music and words whilst singing along and making us laugh the whole way through. Every time you thought he was finished and that this was more than enough food now, another thing would come onto the Kitchen’s bench and be placed in front of us, whilst dry ice came through the ‘glory hole’ in the wall to add to the experience. As Mary Poppins played with A Spoon Full of Sugar, a big heap of popping candy landed on our spoons and a big circular box of added sweet treats where left on the table as the music slowly came to a stop and the table was absolutely full of deserts.

 

There was everything from ice-cream, Crème brûlée, chocolate cake to

Battenberg cake and that’s when the panic of not being able to even dint it, let alone finish it, set in. However, I’m a trooper and after a disappointing look and some helpful words of encouragement from the lovely waitress who expressed her concern that I hadn’t had much of her favourite, it gave me the courage to go on. At this point, Alfie had had too many beers to care over chocolate, so I was on my own.

Our time at Parlour was honestly the best and as they don’t advertise this, we found out that all of those courses and the huge display of treats afterwards is £55 per person, and then you pay for drinks separately. Quite a bargain when you think that it’s quite literally, dinner and a show. I cannot recommend this place enough, whether you want a simple meal, or something spectacular, it’s the place to try.