Elle Editor’s Styling Tricks TESTED by Fat Femme Fabulous

When the lovely Georgina decided to look towards guest
bloggers whilst she suns herself in lovely Italy, I jumped at the chance. Not
only did I already know I loved her blog but in speaking with her she’s super
friendly and a babe. All that and only 20! Be right back, I’m going back in
time a decade to when I was 20, so I can achieve just a quarter of what she has
before I hit 30 in a few months.
As for me, I’m Diana and I run Fat Femme Fabulous, a fatshion blog I
only started Summer last year; after years of happily reading others’ blogs but
not wanting one of my own, I finally had things I wanted to say.
This post has been a gremlin in the back of my head for over
5 months, since it first poorly targeted me on twitter. In the time I’ve been
blogging, I have seen my confidence grow and in large part that is down to not
just surrounding but submerging myself with fat babes at every turn and
ignoring mainstream media as much as possible.
Elle US, the more fatphobic,
big sister of the UK counterpart, has 7 Editor Styling Tricks Guaranteed to Make You Look Thinner and the article
begins thusly: “Everyone has days when
they feel fat. Regardless of whether the number on the scale has gone up,
sometimes a girl feels bloated, sluggish, or like nothing fits.
” Like I
said, how badly did they target me here?! Every day I feel fat; it’s got a lot
to do with actually being fat. On some days I may also feel bloated or
sluggish, neither of which has anything to do with being fat, and I certainly
don’t need 7 tricks to not only look slimmer, oh no, this promises me I can
look thinner.
So let’s test this out….
 The Nirvana-Approved Wrap Trick
 
Tying a plaid or a
flimsy sweater around my natural waist helps direct the eye to the narrowness
of my hips…
” – ORLY.
Elle Editor's Styling Tricks TESTED by Fat Femme Fabulous

The Frat Tuck
 
…with depth
perception, it looks like I have a flat stomach…
” – I don’t have a flat
stomach, but this does let me flaunt the belly curve proudly.
Elle Editor's Styling Tricks TESTED by Fat Femme Fabulous
Let me interject now to say I won’t be trying all 7 looks.
Some of them are quite ridiculous and involve wearing an expensive silk blouse
with skinny jeans. I don’t know what magic there is in expensive, silk, blouses
which make them somehow defy the laws of physics, but someone should have told
my Versace (Ebay, second hand) purple and black leopard blouse this as it no
longer buttons up. One photo has wearing skinny jeans (again), with heels and a
longer jacket to hide lumps and bumps, but I refuse to cover up.
Another is a
men’s sweater, so you look delicate and lithe – my partner wears a small so I
have no chance of his jumper even fitting and I don’t suspect he will thank me
for stretching it out at the boobs even if I did pair it with a fat-showing,
fat-loving outfit. Finally, I refuse to bother with the hourglass silhouette
tip! I love a good A-line skirt within my dresses but as fat women, we are told
to stick rigidly to this shape to hide our fat, which is why I enjoy bare arms
when I do as a two-finger salute regarding trying to hide my fatness.
The Bold Shoulder
 
Maybe it’s dumb, but
I feel like if I have linebacker shoulders up top and teeny pants on bottom,
I’ll sort of look like a triangle shape that slims down…
” – I won’t argue
with her first part and allow me to casually hum the Dallas theme tune for no
reason at all.
Elle Editor's Styling Tricks TESTED by Fat Femme Fabulous

 

The moral of this story is wear what you want, because you
want to and ignore silly little magazines, so really it’s a tale as old as time
for us plussies regarding  fashion media.
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